Being fertility challenged puts you in a weird position socially if you are a private person. I don’t share our fertility challenges with anyone (including family or friends for the most part). Anyone that does know we are having difficulties has very limited information without any specifics. Of course, when you have been married for 4 years, you cannot stay away from the “when are you going to have babies?” question. My response is typically “we’ll see..”. If someone presses me for more information, I try to change the subject at all costs.
Luckily for us, our families have never pressured us to have children. However, the societal norm is that a couple gets married and the next step is to have babies. These poor people who question couples like my husband and I have no idea they could be touching on a very raw subject. I don’t blame them, but I am much more aware myself that the subject is personal and I never ask anyone when they are having children for fear that they may be going through the same thing as us.
The truth is I don’t know if we will ever have children, and that isn’t by choice. So is honesty the best policy to make the questions go away? I certainly don’t want to be pitied by them either.