Friday, July 15, 2011

The "What Ifs"

The “what ifs” are always in my head. What if we take advantage of everything our insurance has to offer and we still don’t have babies? Are we going to pay tens of thousands of dollars out of pocket or are we going to resign to our fate? My initial thought is that if insurance stops covering any of the procedures or we hit a fertility dead end, we are going to go to adoption. The way that I see it is if we funnel tens of thousands of dollars into fertility treatments, it’s for a chance to have a baby and that chance may or may not work out. But if we put the money toward adoption, we’ll end up with a baby. Sure there are options in between: surrogate mothers, donor sperm and eggs etc etc. I just don’t see us going down any of those roads.

Of course, adoption has its own difficulties. I read somewhere the other day that 35% of couples experience false starts with adoption. However, I’ve never met someone who wanted to adopt and wasn’t able to. I have met people who went through years of infertility and never had kids.

Anyway, I’ve always wanted to adopt even if we were able to have biological kids. Maybe that is our fate.


  1. I say - it is too early to think and get sad about that!!! :-) The fact that you have a known male issue is a great thing! Your husband does not have azoospermia - he just has a small amount of good sperm but that will be more than plenty to fertilize the egg in the IVF. But I have to say - it definitely is hard to know when to stop... We had 6 IUIs, we are on our way to do IVF and if it does not work...we will do another one and it will be completely out of pocket. When we were just doing IUIs we were saying that we will only do on IVF so we have completely changed our mind on this... because the hope is the last one to die... We also decided that if it is something with my eggs, we will do donor eggs and then we will also adopt later on. But I just keep thinking that you will have a special and different connection with a child if you are actually pregnant with it so as much as I want to do a good deed and adopt I also still want to experience pregnancy...

  2. Ok, after I re-read my comment I wanted to clarify a point :) My comment that you have a known male issue might not have come out sounding right... I just meant that because you know why you can't get pregnant - there is a high chance that IVF will be a success for you guys - which is great! Unlike for us - all of our tests are pretty much normal and we do not know why so there might be a chance that there is a bigger issue that IVF will not fix...