Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Sharing the truth

I told my mom about our fertility issues. I mean, I told my mom.. everything. Before I gave her the details, she said "I thought you said when you got married that you'd try naturally until you were 30." And yes, at some point, before I knew everything I know now, that is what I said. But then I explained to her that we have issues we didn't know about. She seemed really sad. I'm pretty sure the sadness was for me. And god.. that makes me even more sad. I don't want her to share my pain. I just want to be able to talk to someone about everything that is going on.

She was really supportive of everything though and it felt good to get all of this off my chest. I told her I didn't want her to ask me anything after the conversation in terms of updates etc. For some reason, my biggest fear is the added stress of someone asking questions about appointments and procedures and how they went. I want to talk on my own terms, when I'm ready. Anyway, just typing this entry puts tears in my eyes.

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